


Undrunk

by SupercatFanatic



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Post Reveal, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 17:27:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21080330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupercatFanatic/pseuds/SupercatFanatic
Summary: "Her hands are clumsily taking apart the black dress that so perfectly hugged her favorite reporter, she is in a hurry, she just wants to get it over with. It’s a pulsion, something she needs to get out of her system, she wouldn’t call it a primal urge because it had been growing for years, but it definitely was a need, something she couldn’t do without."ORLena and Kara are drunk and sleep together but Lena has trouble dealing with the aftermath of it, comes in Kara who takes care of her, as always.





	Undrunk

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody! 
> 
> I have trouble writing these days BUT I listened for the first time to "Undrunk" by Fletcher and this popped up so... here is some angsty smut? I don't know why I'm incapable of writing angst in something other than present tense... 
> 
> TW: There is a lot of alcohol in this OS, Lena is _wasted_ in the second part so maybe be careful if it's something that bothers you! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll like it, I'm sorry if the smut sucks, it's really hard to write and I'm not sure I'm very good at it (you can totally skip it if you want, you'll still understand the rest of the story). Enjoy !

Hiding, fleeing, dodging. Lena is amazing at it, wether it’s during an attack on her life or regarding her feelings, she has always mastered this art. Putting feelings into boxes and locking them far, far away, hoping they would just disappear with time, it’s her life as a Luthor. Closing her eyes, she tries to chase away the memories of that night and sighs dramatically when she fails...

***  
_A week before_: 

She is overwhelmed, unstable and unsteady. She doesn’t really know what she is doing but whatever it is, Kara is with her. She knows they both want it, they are drunk but it doesn’t matter, what’s happening was long overdue, a desire looming over their heads since they started their friendship. The air around them is electric and all Lena can register is the taste of champagne but she is not sure wether it’s from her tongue or Kara’s. 

Her hands are clumsily taking apart the black dress that so perfectly hugged her favorite reporter, she is in a hurry, she just wants to get it over with. It’s a pulsion, something she needs to get out of her system, she wouldn’t call it a primal urge because it had been growing for years, but it definitely was a need, something she couldn’t do without. 

She feels Kara’s hands on her ass and she thinks she’s moaning, but then again, their breath and sounds are meddling, they are slowly becoming one. When Kara is finally in her underwear in front of her, Lena forgets how to breathe because the woman is breathtaking. Her body exudes all of Supergirl’s strength but her eyes show everything that is Kara, vulnerability, kindness, softness. 

In seconds, she is attacking her neck, she kisses, she bites and she licks. She needs to mark her, to claim her, and she feels stupid for it. But the alcohol is clouding her judgment and she can still feel her tongue buzzing from all the bubbles (or was it from Kara’s kisses?). Kara isn’t complaining, she is whining at each attack, one hand in Lena’s hair to bring her face closer to her skin while the other is grasping at her lower back as if she would drown without it. 

Lena is gone, she is lost in Kara’s scent, in the taste of her skin. She is gone for her, already deeply, irremediably gone. She loves her, always have, and tonight she gets to have her. She gets to forget the last weeks ever happened, she gets to have a taste of what it could be like.  
Lena sucks on Kara’s pulse point, knowing perfectly well that she can’t leave a mark, and her hands are taking off the black bra. Her mouth is lightly kissing Kara’s breast, reverently, it’s so drastically different from the way she treated her neck seconds before that the blonde shivers. It makes Lena smirk against the skin as she sucks on a nipple, both of her hands are on Kara’s hips, steadying her despite feeling so shaky herself.

"L-Lena… I don’t think I can stay standing for much longer." she hears the blonde say. 

A sentiment of pride wash over Lena, she is bringing Supergirl to her knees and she is the only one who can do that. She has seen many rogue aliens and criminals try but in the end, only a Luthor can accomplish such exploit. She takes the other woman’s hand and tugs her towards the bedroom. She had never been here before but hotel suites are all the same and she doesn’t even take the time to appreciate the tastefully decorated room or the softness of the silky sheets. There is only one thing she wants and she is lying half naked on top of the bed. 

With a gaze, Lena tells Kara to stay still. She makes sure she is looking, makes sure she realizes what she is missing out on. Biting her lips, her eyes fixed on her prey, Lena slowly unzips the side of her dress. She could let it pool to her feet but she would make it easy on Kara and she doesn’t want that. Tonight is a one shot, a once in a lifetime thing. Alcohol makes her bold, she feels invincible. Tonight, she is the girl of steel while the actual one is writhing under her, completely lost in the spell. 

Purposefully, one strap falls off Lena’s shoulder, then the other, but the dress doesn’t follow. It stays well in place, hiding the fair skin that she knows Kara longs to see, to touch. She hears her whine, a silent plea and though the idea of having her beg sounds nice to her ear, it can wait. She lowers her voice, she knows the huskiness has nothing to do with the alcohol running through her veins but everything to do with how intoxicated she is by Kara. 

"Are you ready, Kara?" she whispers, barely recognizing herself. She smirks again when she witnesses the violent nod from her ephemeral lover. Cruelly slowly, she lets the dress fall until she is standing in bright red underwear. She knows how good it looks against her clear skin and she is proud of the effect it has on Kara. But she is also certain that Kara would lose it if she was naked, so she gives in, rewards the reporter for staying put like she asked. 

There is not a hint of blue left in the alien’s eyes when Lena stands naked in front of her but Lena doesn’t have time to dwell on that. She crawls over Kara, kissing her naked skin from her navel to her breasts, lightly licking her way up until she is nipping at her jaw. Kara’s hands are on her, caressing her skin at times, then scratching and leaving red angry marks on her pristine body. She moans into her mouth and decides she has had enough, she just wants to finally have her. 

There’s a whine coming from the blonde when she leaves her mouth but it quickly turns into a moan when she feels Lena’s mouth back on her nipple and even though it doesn’t stay long, she doesn’t complain when the air hits her now wet breast. Lena is kissing her way down, only stopping slightly at the edge of Kara’s thong. She doesn’t ask but Kara gives her consent anyway, with a soft ‘please’ escaping her. 

Lena groans at the sight of the naked blonde because none of her fantasies have compared to having the actual thing, the scent, the warmth and most of all the trembling body of her best friend. She leaves a light kiss just above her clit, knowing it would most certainly drive the woman crazy, and then attacks her without preamble. Her tongue is everywhere, she is kissing, licking along the slit and toying with the bundle of nerves that makes Kara’s hips jerks. She wants to see the blonde fall apart, she needs to be the cause of it. 

Kara cries out when a tongue enters her, her hands going to Lena’s hair and for a second, Lena is not sure if she’s pushing her closer or away. Soon she has her answer because Kara chokes out "more please…", her eyes are shut close, her head thrown back. Lena complies, she retreats and replaces her tongue by two fingers and Kara’s back arches. Her perfectly sculpted abs are flexing, her breasts moving with the sudden change of position and her mouth is open wide despite being completely silent. She looks beautiful, Lena has a goddess in front of her and a sudden wave of love is hitting her. It’s spilling, threatening everything, it’s too evident and she feels unguarded. 

Lena’s eyes darken at that, she doesn’t get to have feelings and Kara doesn’t get to make them resurface. She puts her mouth on Kara’s clit once again and starts a punishing pace with her fingers, curling them inside the blonde while sucking and flicking with her tongue. It drives Kara crazy, she is moaning, panting, her body is covered in sweat. Lena feels the ache in her wrist and in her jaw but she ignores it, she pushes through and soon Kara’s hips are meeting her face and her fingers. 

It doesn’t take long for Kara to start calling Lena’s name, as if begging for mercy, for release. Lena is a philanthropist after all, so she gives her what she needs. She bites, lightly, but just strongly enough to make sure Kara can feel it, and curls her fingers on the spot she knows will break her. It doesn’t miss. 

Kara cries out her name when she comes, one hand tearing the sheets while the other is holding Lena in place, making sure she doesn’t go anywhere. She can feel her legs spasm from the intensity of the orgasm and she almost expects the woman to pass out from the lack of air. But Supergirl doesn’t go out that easily and she perfectly knows it so before Kara can even get her breathing pattern in order she turns her around. Face down, gasping in surprise at the sudden move and moaning when she feels a hand coming down on her ass, Kara is powerless. 

Lena is not one to wait patiently, so she massages Kara’s ass, giving it a few slaps after noticing the reaction the first one caused. She can already hear the heavy breathing intensify and she doesn’t waste a second. Her hands on Kara’s hips, she lifts her so she’s on her hands and knees and she ignores the trembling in the blondes members as she plunges two fingers back in her. She keeps one arm secured around her waist while slowly dragging her fingers in and out of her lover. Soon enough, Kara is rocking against her, trying to grind against something at the same time, but Lena won’t give it to her, she needs her to understand who’s in charge here. 

"Lena, please… I need…" says Kara’s trembling voice with a whine. She is lost in her own pleasure, filled with lust, her brain barely coherent anymore. 

Lena is smirking as she answers, "what do you need, Supergirl, tell me." and Kara whines at the use of her superhero name. It’s a low blow, the CEO knows. They don’t address the fact that she knows, that’s why they stopped talking in the first place, but it’s about showing Kara the mistakes she made by not telling her, it’s about making her understand her pain and her anger while hiding all the love buried deep inside her heart. 

"More, please, give me more", she hears her say and Lena is all too happy to give it to her. She slowly pushes a third finger inside, feeling the muscles stretch around her and the throaty sob that escapes the blonde. She speeds up, setting again a punishing and rough pace as Kara chants under her. It’s a chorus of "thank you", of her name, it’s music to her hears. 

She is going so strong and so fast against Kara, using her own body as leverage, that the hero’s arms give out under her. Her face hits the mattress and she uses her arms to hide the shameful traces of her pleasure while Lena uses her free hand to play with her clit. It’s her downfall. The cry is silent and Lena knows it’s because there’s not enough left in Kara to produce a sound. She sees her toes curl, sees the tears on the face Kara is trying to hide. She also feels her whole body giving up so Lena gently helps the lower half of her body get down on the bed, turning her over so she can lie down in a comfortable position. 

The tear tracks on Kara’s face makes Lena’s heart clench and she hates herself for what she does next. She comes up, kissing each tears away, helping Kara close her eyes and taking her in her arms. She knows the blonde can feel her love, how could she not when it’s filling everything that makes Lena, every atom of her body. She whispers in Kara’s ear while holding her face against her chest, whispers that she was perfect, that she is going to be alright and that she can rest now. But Kara struggles against Morpheus, like she knows Lena will leave the moment her eyes close. 

"You…" Lena hears, and she knows Kara can’t say much more. She also understands the silent request and tells her it’s alright. She doesn’t tell her they have time, because it would be lying and they are in such intimate position that even thinking about lying feels awfully wrong. Their hearts are just as bared as their bodies and it would be so easy to just hurt it, too easy. But then Kara pleads, and Lena can never say no to that. 

She kisses Kara and sighs in it when she feels the blonde kissing back eagerly. She hasn’t recovered her legs yet, but Lena can make it work on her own. Lying on their side, Lena pushes one leg between Kara’s so a toned thigh is pressed against her center. She is mindful of Kara, not wanting to overstimulate her after two strong orgasms but as soon as bare skin touched her clit she is gone. She is almost there already, just from touching the woman she secretly loves, so she grinds herself down on the thigh. Kara’s hand is sneaking between their bodies to play with Lena’s nipples, flicking, twisting them and Lena moans obscenely in their kiss. 

After a few seconds, the adrenalin seems to kick in as Kara starts meeting Lena, thrust for thrust. Lena registers Kara’s teeth tugging at her ear, then biting lightly at her neck and she is overwhelmed. Somehow, the tired blonde is everywhere at once, at her breasts, her neck, between her legs and always, always in her heart. She is grasping at her like her life depends on it, closer, she needs to be closer. It’s her turn to chant Kara’s name, like a prayer, more and more erratic. Her body gives up quickly, pleasure exploding inside her, blocking her breathing, taking her by surprise. 

Kara uses a soothing voice, "breathe, you’re alright, you’re safe", and it reaches Lena with great difficulty. She is stuck in her own mind, in her own pleasure. And all of the sudden everything is too much. Kara’s scent all around her is suffocating, she is trapped in the arms of the woman she loves, the simple noises of their breathing is triggering and she can feel a panic attack sneaking up on her. She needs to leave. 

She pushes Kara away without a word, rolls out of bed and catching her dress, foregoing any underwear. She hears Kara calling out for her but she is already out of the suite, her phone already in hand, texting her driver. The last thing she sees before passing out in the car is the lost look of a disheveled Kara, barefoot in the street with her mouth open, calling her name. 

***

_Present_:

It’s been a week since she felt the toned body of her friend trembling underneath her, seven days since she held the woman she loves in her arms. A mistake. There is something that Lena can’t quite fathom with life, it’s how twisted it can be. She tries to be good, as much as possible, a reasonable boss, a nice colleague and a good friend to Kara. And yet, despite all of that, she has fallen in love with the one person she shouldn’t have and the one person that she trusts the most. Trust that once again, had been misplaced. 

Supergirl, Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-El. One and the same. The reporter lied to Lena for years and she doesn’t even feel mad about it. Well, not anymore at least. She is just sad, sad that she has lost Kara, sad that she loves her and regretting their drunk fucking. 

She stands up too quickly, getting a head rush, but ignores it to walk the few steps that separates her from her liquor cabinet. It’s an ancient carved wooden piece that she fell in love with in an auction and she feared it would have clashed with her home decor but it found its place. Kara got the idea of putting it in the corner, she had said that such a piece needed to be the hidden surprise, the detail that you don’t see right away but makes it all come together in the end. She was right of course, it was perfect. 

She ignores the sting behind her eyes at the thought of the joyful blonde carrying all by herself the furniture, her arms on display while she babbled about something Lena couldn’t even remember. Her hand opens the glass door automatically, she has done it so many times these last few weeks that her body knows what awaits it. The bourbon is appealing to her and she pours a generous portion of it in a glass, bringing the bottle with her as she slumps on her couch. 

The burning on her tongue and in her throat is comforting, warming, but it also reminds her of the last time she got drunk and what consequences it had. Her eyes close again and the memories flood her brain. 

She hates it, the weakness, the pain, the arousal building inside her. Another glass and she feels herself relax a little, maybe a bath would do her some good.  
She runs the hottest bath she can muster, knowing the burning on her skin would probably erase everything else. She ponders if she should put on some music but silence feels nice at the moment, despite her mind tricking her. By the time the tub is full, Lena has started sipping her third glass and there already is a comfortable buzz in her head now. 

She lets her skirt and shirt pool at her feet, followed unceremoniously by her underwear. She watches her naked body for a second, almost feeling the ghost of where Kara’s hands had touched her. She shakes her head, making sure her glass will be close by, she lets herself be submerged by the water. Had she been sober, she would have cried and got out at the burning sensation, but she does neither. She stays perfectly stills as her skin turns deep red and waits until the water stills around her. 

Her hair is wet, she forgot to tie it up before getting in, it’s floating around her shoulder, just about her chest, she wishes Kara was here to comb it. Sighing, she takes another sip, bigger, bolder, it hurts, but Lena is past that point already. She closes her eyes again, she knows she can’t fall asleep and she won’t, but she doesn’t know where to look so she lets the darkness engulf her. 

_Her hands against Kara’s body, the feeling of flesh, of her walls tightening around her. The small noises that escaped her mouth, the panting and the chanting of her name…_

The memories are too vivid for Lena not to choke up on desire. She can almost feel Kara’s body convulsing against hers, keeping her close. She wishes she could erase the memories but it’s not that simple. She feels guilty for it, but her fingers leave the glass to travel down her body, not stopping at her breasts on the way, there is no time, no pleasure. She just needs release so she can stop thinking about her. 

It’s fast, Kara is in her thoughts all along and she almost calls out her name, to see if she would hear her, if she would come. But that would be a terrible idea that even her drunk self knows not to execute. So instead she bites her other hand while one finger is deep within her and the palm of her hand grinding against her clit. She moans in her hand, her breathing harder, erratic. Soon her hips are following the movement and she imagines Kara’s hands on her, her soft mouth biting hard on her neck, her fingers playing with her nipples. She almost sees the dark orbs, full of excitement, looking at her, can almost hear her saying she loves her… 

She comes quickly, it’s nothing as powerful as what she knows the blonde could give her and it doesn’t matter. She hopes this will be enough for tonight to make her forget. Drinking the last of her glass, she stands and grabs her bathing robe. There’s water everywhere around the tub and she curses herself for deciding that masturbating in the bath was a good idea. She goes to grab a towel to put on it when she knock her glass over with her arm. 

The shattering noise is ridiculously loud in her empty apartment, it makes her wince. She feels shards of glass flying against her ankles and knows it’s everywhere in the bathroom. Ignoring it, she leaves the room, walking on a large piece of glass on the way out. It hurts and she feels it this time but she doesn’t have the courage to look at it. She leaves a bloody path on her way to the living room where she grabs the bottle, foregoing the glass as she just sips directly from it. It’s all coming back, the memories, it’s overwhelming her as she falls asleep on the floor, tears streaming down her face. 

_Kara holding her close, whispering that she did well, that she can breathe. Her sweet scent, slightly stained by sweat but still incredibly charming. The softness of her skin, the feeling of being carried by strong arms…_

Lena wakes up when she feels herself being lifted, she doesn’t know who is in her apartment and for a second she panics. But then the rough fabric of Supergirl’s suit is against her skin and Kara’s scent surrounds her, she relaxes in the embrace. She doesn’t dare open her eyes until the warmth is gone and when she does she recognizes her bedroom and hears Kara rummaging through her bathroom cabinets. 

When she comes back, Lena notices a blush on her face and she is not sure if it’s because she is angry or sad… Or maybe it comes from the fact that Lena is almost naked, the robe not doing much to hide her body. Kara’s hands are soft against her leg and even gentler when they arrive at her foot. The glass. She cut herself. She doesn’t know what to say really, how to act. She lies down, on arm over her eyes because the light is hurting her brain. 

"I hate you", she whispers while Kara bandages her foot. She doesn’t really, it’s the opposite, but Kara can’t know that and she wants to hurt her, just a little bit. 

"I know, it’s okay." she says. But it’s not, it shouldn’t be. Lena is mad that Kara is accepting when she should be rebelling, mad that she gets away with lying when she didn’t give Kara the same chance. 

"It’s not right…", she’s crying, it’s the alcohol that renders her weak. Or maybe it’s the tiredness of it all, the situation, the loneliness, losing her best friend and still have her being so soft and nice to her after she hurt herself. Kara doesn’t say anything this time, she just applies disinfectant on the cut, reverentially cleaning it. 

"I wish… I wish I could take it all back. Getting drunk, sleeping with you… I just want to forget, do you understand?" 

Lena waits for an answer but she doesn’t get one, Kara is in her closet, getting her something to sleep in but there is no doubt that she can hear her and when she comes back, Lena can see that her eyes are shinier than usual. But it doesn’t stop her. The blonde handles her body delicately, like a freshly picked flower, disrobing her and getting her in a long t-shirt and shorts she found. When Lena is back on the bed in fresh clothes she tries to move but Kara stops her with a hand on her shoulder. It’s gentle but firm. It says "do not move". 

Lena is scared, because Kara is never silent, she never leaves her hanging. But then, Lena is rarely this drunk and broken, so it seems like tonight will be something new for the both of them. She wants to get comfortable but her wet hair is annoying her and the pain in her foot is starting to get more and more powerful. She cries again at the inconvenience, apparently it’s all she can do, now. 

As if reading her mind, Kara comes back with a towel, a glass of water and a pill that she knows the reporter keeps in her bag for her in case of sudden headache. 

"Can you sit?" is the calm question that comes from Kara. Lena can’t do anything but nod, gracelessly rising from the mattress to sit at the edge of the bed. She swallows the pill and the water without hesitation and shivers when she feels hands in her hair and a towel slowly rubbing at her skull. Then comes the comb and the softness radiating from Kara’s movements almost makes her sick. It’s love that she feels but she refuses to acknowledge it. 

"Why are you here?" Lena asks, but she already knows the answer. She is here because Lena needed her, and Kara is always present when it happens. 

"It doesn’t matter."

Lena closes her eyes, she is certain that when she opens them again it will be her, alone in her apartment. It’s a dream, a fantasy that her stupid brain threw on her to make her suffer even more. And if it’s not real then she can say it, it will be okay. 

"I wish I didn’t know you. So I wouldn’t be in love with you, it would hurt less." Lena whispers, but Kara hears it loud and clear. The comb in her hair stops and the brunette sighs, she was right, Kara isn’t here. But she opens her eyes, Kara is in front of her, like nothing happened. Well, not exactly. There are tears on her cheeks, very visible ones and Lena feels guilty for it. She was convinced this was all a dream. 

Kara leads her under the covers, making sure her foot is out and up. Lena closes her eyes, her own tears mirroring Kara’s when she feels soft lips against her forehead linger just for a second, barely there. She falls asleep then, dreamlessly. 

***

Lena wakes up with her head pounding, her feet aching and the world spinning. She isn’t sure of what happened the night before, what was real or not. Was Kara really here? She looks down at her foot and see the bandages around the sole, it’s been done by someone sober, definitely not by her drunk self. Sitting up, she takes in her room, it’s clean, void of any trace that someone else might have come, which is not the case of her bathroom.

She notices after emptying her stomach in the toilet, after crying at her own stupidity as the bile burnt her throat. The bathroom is clean, no water, no towel on the ground and certainly not one shard of glass left. 

"Kara?" Lena tries to call out, but her voice is rough and weak, she isn’t sure even Supergirl could hear her. She walks into the living room where she sees plaids carefully folded on the side of the couch, then to the kitchen. A freshly brewed pot of coffee awaits for her next to a note with two pills on it. It says "_For you head, K._". Lena sighs as she swallows them with her first sip of coffee of the day, wishing Kara was still here. She doesn’t have a lot of memories from the night before, but she remembers saying awful things to Kara and it’s enough to make her feel guilty. 

She sits on her couch, lost in her thoughts. Everything smells like her, it’s painful but comforting at the same time. Lena lies down on the cushions, fresh vanilla scent filling her nose and her heart. She is almost asleep again when she hears her front door open. Raising, she sees her best friend with two grocery bags and a box from their favorite bakery. She can’t help but smile. 

"I thought you had left."

"I was about too, I thought you would sleep longer," comes the reply. It’s not cold, but it’s not exactly warm either. 

"Can we… Can we talk?" Her voice is trembling, her confidence always seem to shatter when it comes to Kara. 

She winces when she hears the blonde sigh but there is a soft smile on her lips. She wonders why, Kara should be angry at her, she wouldn’t really blame her…

"Go take a shower, I’ll prepare breakfast, then we can talk." and Lena nods at that, standing up and grimacing at the pain in her foot. It’s long forgotten when she sees the plastic bag and elastic that Kara left next to the shower to cover her wound. There’s a note with it, proof that Kara had indeed planned on leaving before Lena woke up. It simply says "_For you foot_" and she can almost hear the desperation in her friend’s voice. 

Twenty minutes later she is back in the kitchen, freshly showered, in a pair of sweatpants and Kara’s NCU sweater. It always brings her comfort and she thinks she might need it after the conversation they were going to have.  
Kara held her promise, there’s a still fuming vegetables omelette waiting for her on the counter and donut on the side. She is still here, smiling shyly when Lena sits next to her and starts eating. It’s delicious and though the silent is a bit unnerving, it’s not awkward. 

"How are you feeling?" Kara asks after a while. 

"I’m not sure. Definitely hungover," she lowers her head at that, still shameful of the state Kara found her in the night before, "and my foot…". The words die in her mouth. 

"Thank you for taking care of me, last night…" 

She doesn’t get to finish because Kara cuts her right up. 

"Promise me you won’t do that again." Her voice is trembling and it takes Lena aback. She hadn’t realized that it was touching her so deeply. There is something deep inside of her, urging her to reassure the blonde, to stop the trembling of her lower lips, to erase the worry in her eyes.

"So many things could have gone wrong I… You could have drowned in you bath, slipped and broken you neck, cut yourself more badly and I… You don’t get to leave me like they all did. You can’t…" Lena doesn’t stop her, she feels like she needs to hear this just as much as Kara needs to say it.

"You can hate me all you want, stop talking to me, forget about me, but you have to stay… You have to stay safe. I don’t know how… I just don’t think I could survive losing my world again."

The words hit Lena hard. She doesn’t know what to say to ease her concerns so she chokes out "I promise, I’m sorry." and it seems to be enough for Kara because she nods seriously, gathering their plates and putting them in the sink. She sits down again, this time looking at Lena with all the softness she has always seen in her. 

"You wanted to talk, so here we go, there’s no avoiding this anymore." Kara’s voice sounds so certain, almost joyful, it doesn’t sit right with Lena.

"I just… owe you an apology," she looks for her words, not sure how she should put it, "last night, I said some horrible things and…"

"Some beautiful too." 

Lena’s eyes go wide at that because she is not entirely sure of what she said. She remembers the terrible things, she always does. Remembers how she told Kara she wished she had never met her, or slept with her, but the rest…

"You don’t remember, do you?" There’s an amused glint in her eyes and Lena is lost. She shakes her head apologetically.

"It’s alright. Do you mind if I talk for a bit?" Again, Lena doesn’t object so Kara does. "Last night you told me you loved me," she raises her hand to stop the brunette from interrupting her, "and you said you wished that weren’t the case."

"It stung, to be honest, but I think I know why you said that which is why I’m going to give you a choice. If that’s how you really feel, if you want to hear my answer to that, then I want you to tell me again, now that you’re sober. If you can’t, it’s okay, I’ll leave, give you time." Lena stays silent, Kara just keeps going, much quieter this time, shyly, tentatively. 

"Last week, that night… It meant a lot to me. I know I’ve hurt you, I’ve lied to you and I probably don’t deserve your trust anymore, I understand why you want to forget all about me. So that night, I thought… Maybe something was salvageable between us, maybe I could fix this." Kara sighs, her coffee turning cold between her hands. "I am sorry, Lena, for everything I put you through."

Lena is crying. She is the worst person on this planet, she gets drunk, fucks Kara like she doesn’t matter, scares her, tells her she wishes she never knew her and yet she isn’t the one bending in two to apologize. She throws herself in Kara’s arms, holding her tight, and Kara hugs her back. Lena keeps repeating that she is sorry, and Kara that she is too. They both look like idiots, Lena knows, but she doesn’t care, she is slowly getting her friend back and it’s all that matters. 

When they pull apart, Lena looks straight into Kara’s eyes. They are still shining and they both look like a mess. It makes her chuckle, Kara is still gorgeous, when is she not? She takes a deep breath, her hand in Kara’s while the other gently comes to touch her face. 

"Kara, I am… Deeply in love with you." Kara smiles brightly at the words, she leans in Lena’s hand, wanting her closer. 

"I am in love with you too, silly." 

A watery chuckle escapes the brunette and she feels Kara’s thumb chasing her last tears away. 

"Well, that was incredibly corny." Lena says with a smile. The reporter chuckles and gets closer, soft fingers caressing her cheek. 

"It really was." And then Kara’s mouth is on hers, slow, tender, loving, caring. Kara gives the best kisses she ever had, she already knows that, but this one is on a whole other level. There is so much love in it, Lena feels like she could faint. Thank God she doesn’t, she kisses back and feels Kara floating them onto the couch where they erupts in a burst of giggles. Lena is held by the woman she loves, she is protected, cared for. She closes her eyes, her head against Kara’s beating heart and strong arms around her. Home.

**Author's Note:**

> So, how was it? Dunno about the smut, as I said, hopefully it was good enough for you to get what I was trying to communicate! Tell me what you thought! 
> 
> Also you can hit up on Tumblr, it's SupercatFanatic (Xazera), I'll be happy to talk! 
> 
> Have a wonderful weekend,  
Xoxo, SCF :3


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